In Defense of the Wallet Chain

Almost my entire life it seems like I have been committing a crime against good taste without even knowing it. I was — and I still am — wearing a wallet chain. It first dawned on me when I was visiting the “Porn Film Festival” (because that passes as art in Berlin) and saw a short film about the importance of wallet chains in the lesbian culture. I never considered myself a lesbian, but then again, I didn’t consider myself a picture of masculinity either. Besides me and apparently lesbians, who else was still pulling off the good old wallet chain? Well, stoner. And skater but there is a considerable overlap between these groups anyway. And thirtysomethings that hang around in clubs being all cool and edgy because they listen to “Nu Metal”. Yeah, that nineties Nu Metal.

Admittedly, these are not the best fashion colleagues to have and there was a time in my life where I abandoned my chain wallet and decided to finally grow up. That was until I lost my wallet a few weeks later. It fell out of the back pocket of my pants while I was riding my bike to my band rehearsal (Post Hardcore not Nu Metal). It was the first and last time I have ever lost my wallet. I have never had it stolen. I have never accidentally left it somewhere and had to pick it up. It is always with me, dangling on the chain and reminding me with every step and every clanging of metal that it is still with me.

I say it is time to acknowledge the usefulness of wallet chains and to bring it back, if not as a fashion statement, then as a really good way not to lose your most valuable belongings.

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